1. Excessively Drunk Women – When I was a boy I thought a group of drunk women was the move. When I go to the club now and see a chick throwing up in the bathroom, I get repulsed. Who’s woman is this?!
2. All the way turned up– Why I can hear you in a club on any night is a problem. It’s loud, there’s loud music, and still I can hear your voice shrieking over the speakers. Or what about those women who can’t control their volume when their drunk and try and talk in your ear but they’re screaming?
3. Negative Women – These women think everything is wack. “How about this lovely weather today?” “This is wack, why these girls think it’s ok to be wearing their open toes?!”
4. Impatience – They hate waiting. They are the type to tell you to let them know when you have arrived at the restaurant so they can leave their house. They have cavities on each side of their mouth from sucking their teeth so much.
5. Teen Spirit Women: Waiting to be entertained – These are the ones who are rimming the club waiting for the party to jump off. They bring nothing to the party, but will call it wack because it didn’t turn into a bashment. Although, they didn’t come to dance anyway.
6. Random hair cuts or attempts to go natural – Have you ever seen that look a man has when he’s been caught cheating? It is NOTHING compared to meeting up with his boo and she decided to cut all her hair off. Your hair (weave) was down to the middle of your back yesterday, but now you want to be Lupita Nyong’o. We will not be partying like it’s 1999 bae
7. Liars – You can just tell this woman is lying. And often times it’s about something she doesn’t have to lie about. She got a hating friend who tells you all her business, especially about how she buys fake designer shoes.
8. Ms. Know It All – I don’t even have words to describe this one because she probably wants to describe it herself. When you told her that eating too much salmon could cause mercury poisoning, she even brought her grandmother into it, “My grandmother ate salmon everyday and she lived to be 106!” Seriously, this woman can’t take a piece of advice or fact that she didn’t come up with to save her life.
9. Attention Hordes – These women are always showing out looking for a reaction in the building. She usually has the attention of most of the guys, but if there’s one focusing on one of her friends, she makes it a point to hook that guy too. “Oh you got a nice chest. Do you work out?” Meanwhile, dude ain’t got a six-pack, he got a loaf of bread and probably look like Mampintsa.
10. Women who think they can do WHATEVER they want – These are the women screaming at the promoter outside the club. These are the women who will break things in your house because they are having a temper tantrum. These are the women who say things like, “And I will tell him to do it, and he will do that ish.” These are the women who end up at burning all your clothes because of a silly WhatsApp message.