By Bridget Lepere
Social media is unmistakably the 21st century’s miracle whip, distance in a relationship vanquishes virtually by a click of a button, sharing information is as good as in person and obviously everything is instant, however how true and real can all this be in real life relationships? Now this is not about people who met on social media networks like Facebook and Twitter, but about couples in long standing relationships who met the old fashioned way.
What does one do when one too many fights have been caused by alleged friends who post steamy pictures of themselves on your partner’s wall, an ex that keeps sending messages that can make any man a bit hot under the collar? Or what about a partner so dedicated and addicted to What’s App that it seems like he loves Whatsapp more than you! With all these considerations, how does one maintain her jealously tendencies, how do you stop yourself from turning into a raving lunatic because of all the insecurities or most importantly how do you try to maintain peace and love in a relationship without compromising your dignity, values and self respect?
From a holistic point of view, the intention of social media platforms is communication, and with this too, in any relationship dialogue can be taken out of context or misinterpreted more so in romantic relationships, as emotions are involved. Any couple willing to salvage what is left of a relationship wrecked by wars influenced by social media should adress the problems and take the necessary steps. Scientists seem to believe that social media does cause strain in many romantic relationships and that Facebook can make people feel depressed and cause them to be anxious as a study found that Facebook may be responsible for creating jealousy and suspicion in romantic relationships, because it exposes people to often ambiguous information about they’re partner, this claim does not eliminate other social media platforms from the equation entirely.
However, how can couples remain together and still maintain healthy social lives online independent of scrutiny and unrelenting twenty one questions? See below for possible solutions:
1. Couples should decide whether they are going to be friends or will remain friends on Facebook
2. Issues of befriending ex’s
3. The acceptable number of males the female partner can befriend and the number of female friends he can have should be discussed
4. Address what can and cannot be shared with the rest of the world on Facebook, especially in terms of issues of the relationship
5. Partners should discuss what is to happen to the photographs of their ex’s
6. The issue of tags from past flings and ex’s that make either party uncomfortable should be discussed
7. Matters on how friends who turn into shameless flirts will be dealt with
8. Couples should be able to talk through such issues, worrisome posts should not be neglected, otherwise being quiet manifests distrust and eventually resentment
1. Avoid being online when you are with your partner, give them all your attention
2. If your partner disagrees with your online activities such as how long you are online, who you are talking to should be discussed in length and the discussion to be respected by both partners
3. Issues of who they chat to should be discussed openly and no information being withheld
4. Avoid arguments online, when this happens advice to meet and talk things through in person
5. If either party is snooping or too controlling feelings of either one should be discussed and accepted, after all trust is key in any relationship
Normally in romantic relationships underlying problems are presented through symptoms such as constant arguing & bickering and social media might be a fueling agent, but it should not be put to blame for two people who do not relate or complement each other. Social media is meant to enhance the beauty and health of romantic relationship and if huge cracks begin to show, some consideration needs to be taken as to whether the pair is making each other’s worlds a different place or a difficult one. After all relationships are about chemistry and feeling one another, however constant fighting and fault finding may just mean the spark between the two might be gone and regrettably forever.