I Know I’m Getting Old But Mama Please Don’t Stress Me About Marriage

By Ayanda Sibindi

I get this question so much that I want to walk around with a recorded response that plays on cue. It’s not that i’m against marriage; I was engaged once. But at this time in my life, it’s just not for me. Most of my friends and family recently decided to take that plunge and I truly wish them best. I’ve seen happy marriages and I’ve seen some marriages for convenience, and that bothers me. I also see people that are married but continue to live their lives as if they were single. My issue is if you want to live that way, stay single. Why make a commitment if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain? I mean Til Death do us Part is a pretty long time. I also believe marriage should be sacred ”a friend of mine told me every time the subject arises, he explains that he holds the institution of marriage in such high esteem that he has decided to never offend it with his participation (LOL). With all of the reality shows, too many to name, the subject of marriage is like a game and the majority of people go on this shows for exposure most times.

To be honest, I enjoy being single. I enjoy my freedom and I enjoy other people’s children (I can always send them home, LOL). That doesn’t mean I’m lacking in anything, like some seem to believe. For my single people out there, isn’t it funny how your married friends and family always try to set you up?They feel like they’re doing you a favor. If it was up to my mom, I would have my own reality show of course, she wants me to get married, but more so she’s pushing for a grandchild so don’t be surprised if you hear of a new show called Who Wants to Marry My Daughter and Get her Pregnant , Immediately? (should I trademark that? LOL). Love can be a beautiful thing, however, a lot of things have to be considered before you make a serious commitment . I commend those people who know they aren’t ready. I commend those who know when they are. I asked my sorority sister Nthabi why she decided to get married (I asked a few people and some actually said because someone asked them, LOL), but her answer was beautiful: She decided to get married because she had finally met a man that loved her fearlessly. Before she met her husband, marriage was the furthest from her mind. The day she packed up her things to relocate to East London with him, she found a list of qualities that she had written 4 years earlier, and one by one he matched everything on her list. Hearing her story definitely gave me some insight on how one can find true love. Even more impressive is that they also work together. In reality, marriage is like a job where both people play the role of supervisor and employee equally.

It’s often said that when one looks, one never finds. It may sound cliche but I may have already met my husband to be and don’t even know it. Some people get married young, some people get married when they’re older and some not at all. Let that individual make the decision. Who knows, somewhere down the line you may see a post from me about Wedded Bliss,but for now, I’ll stick with enjoying my life one day at a time.

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